Another odd fish I learnt about is the northern cavefish. It's totally blind due to the fact that it lives in dark caves and has no use for its eyes, so nature just decided to make it blind. I felt like I didn't need my eyes on my holiday to Lanzarote. Every trip I went on involved looking into volcanoes, which were that dark that you couldn't see anything, so what's the point. There is a famous quote that goes, "In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is king." If there were a kingdom of the blind, Lanzarote is where they should live. They'd be missing nothing.

It's an odd saying, though. If I lived in the kingdom of the blind, I'd just tell them I was the one with the working eye. Be hard to be proved wrong. If they didn't fall for that, I'd suggest that a blind man should be king as he'll have our interests at heart, whereas the fella with an eye wouldn't. If I didn't get the king's job I'd be the kingdom's window cleaner. Money for nothing.

Karl Pilkington. I can't wait until he's old and famous enough to start getting honorary doctorates.